No I don’t mean bride in a negative way. You want to give people an incentive to call you back, reply to your email, or hire you.

There are a couple of things that humans love more than anything else. Money, compliments, and recognition for their time.

We are going to focus on the last one. Why? Because people’s time is a big deal. And we use people’s time for a number of things.

Interviews, meetings, lunches, conferences calls, etc. Imagine if you could easily show your appreciation after you suck up someone’s time?

Why should I care?

You go into an interview. The interviewer had to sort through thousands of applications, call hundreds of  people, email you, schedule the interview amongst the hundreds of other things he/she is doing. A BUNCH of busy work.

You got it right, they really don’t want to be there so the odds are against you before you even walk in. Why will they remember you? So you need to care and appreciate their time.

How

There are 3 simple methods that are proven to work.

1. Email

Emails work all the time. When your interviewer is getting the same emails all day long, an email with a different domain is exciting to them. They want to open it and reply. To see how to effectively write a follow-up email, download the Stranger How To’s (on the sidebar to the right) for free.

2. A Small Token of Appreciation (A gift)

$5 now can land you an $80k a year job if you play your cards right.

On any interview you want to engage in some small talk. Try to find the person’s hobbies. What do they like? What do they do in their down time? You will find that high level executives or HR people have weird hobbies. This makes it all the easier.

If they like coffee, get them a cheap membership to an online coffee store or maybe a Starbucks gift card. The craziest thing I have ever heard do was someone customizing a bottle of vodka and sending it to a potential client. The bottle had their name on it with their birthday and a brief description of their convo. It sealed the deal.

3. Can’t seem to charm the Higher Ups? Charm the people under them

They all have an assistant or someone working the front desk. Charm them with gift cards or kind gestures and you can be sure that your call will always go through, you always get a reply to your email and you are fit into the higher up’s “busy” schedule.

What Not to Do…

Many of you will over do it. You will send flowers, cash, and organs. Don’t do this. You will come off desperate. And people in power can smell desperate coming off the elevator.

Be subtle. You want to give off the impression that you are classy, cultured and know the true value of a relationship. This also puts you on their level. They start to see you as a friend and less of an interviewee, client, or someone who wants something from them.

Why do all of this?

Because showing your appreciation opens up opportunities. A small kind gesture will leave a lasting impression in the receiver’s mind. You can be the scum of the earth to everyone else but to them, you will be the kind, charming, respectful person that followed up with a small gift or email.

You can get referrals. Let’s say they love you. They really really REALLY love you but they can’t hire you because of financial situations out of your control. They will feel that it is their obligation to help you out because you developed a relationship.

You see it all the time in stores. That employee that has an instant connection with a potential customer. They don’t have what the potential customer wants but they feel they should call 3 other stores or even recommend another place for them.

I did this to get my job at Mindvalley. I sent a hand written note over the ocean from Florida to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. The HR director loved it. I do this all the time to get people to help me out with business ideas, interview on my blog.

Share a time below in the comments section, where you did a good bribe and got something awesome from it.

Amir Windom

Record Executive

Amir is one of the nation’s rising young leaders. Amir has emerged as a leader by asserting his skills in the music industry, having a unique IQ for brand marketing and simply matching brilliant ideas with a relentless work ethic.

Possessing the ability to think outside of the box and having a keen eye for new talent and innovative ideas, he’s highly regarded as one of the top Music Executives of his generation. Having held executive and management positions at historic record labels such as Atlantic Records, Def Jam Records and Bad Boy Records, he has assisted in the developing/managing the careers and brands of some of today’s biggest stars such as T.I., Lupe Fiasco, B.o.B, Estelle, Trey Songz, Young Jeezy, Kanye West and B. Rossi to name a few.

Thus far, Amir has worked on over 10 albums that have earned gold and/ or platinum status. One of Amir’s most notable work comes from the “Make it Happen Book Tour” where he worked alongside his respected mentor and friend Kevin Liles, former Executive VP of Warner Music Group, in coordinating an 18 city book tour for Kevin’s New York Times best selling book “Make It Happen”. Kevin and Amir provided clear-sighted advice that emphasized determination, hard work and being true to your dream to various cities across the country.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/50290431/Amir%20Windam.mp3

Arian Simone

CEO of Arian Simone Enterprises

Arian Simone is a proud native of Detroit, she is credited with doing publicity and promotions work on films such as SPARKLE, LIMITLESS, ACT OF VALOR, TAKERS, QUANTUM OF SOLACE, HANCOCK, STEP UP 2, FIRST SUNDAY, THIS CHRISTMAS, STOMP THE YARD, and many more.

She is responsible for the event planning of Lil Wayne’s 25th Birthday Bash, Pro Bowl Wide Receiver Braylon Edwards’ Quarter of the Century Celebration, Chris Brown’s MTV Super 18, and countless others. She is also credited with servicing plenty prominent recording artist in the music industry.

In addition, Arian is the Publisher of Fearless Magazine, which is a magazine for trendsetting women who have an endless love for urban culture. Arian has been featured in a plethora of media publications and has been recognized by Ebony Magazine as one of the top 30 business leaders under 30.Most important of all she gives all credit and respect to her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for her success.

Enjoy the interview
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/50290431/Arian%20Simone.mp3

I am a marketer and I go to social and professional networking events all the time. Knowing how to deal with the awkward moments and crazy people is key. Let’s dive a little deeper. This is for the veterans and the noobs.

1. You are selling yourself…. Not your product

You hear about it all the time. People go to networking trying to pitch every service on the planet. And they want to know why they aren’t closing leads.

Think about it. These people are coming to meet cool PEOPLE. Not a sales person. Try talking to the person before throwing a pitch down their throat. Maybe they have a problem that you can help them with. Ask them about themselves and let them speak Maybe you can offer them a solution to a practical problem they are having that is unrelated to work. Wouldn’t you want to do business with some that was concerned about a personal problem you had and offered a valuable solution?
 

2. You can be thirsty, but pretend you have water

Of course you want leads, job opportunities, and deals. But don’t wear it on your sleeve. People can spot someone that is bouncing around from person to person pitching. It is a MAJOR turn-off.

If you want a job, go in with the mentality that you already have the best job in the world. Why? You will appear confident. You won’t be analyzing the room trying to see who to talk to. You will spark up random convos with people. You will feel comfortable talking with the big hitters.  I can’t tell you how many times I have had a buffet line talk with a CEO. 

3. Connect with everyone (on a personal level)

The event is an interrelated ecosystem. Everything influences something else. Your convo with person A can possibly influence your convo with person E. So be genuine with everything you say and do. If some says they are in an industry that can’t benefit you, don’t be short with them . Instead think that they are the friend of the person you want to talk to. Simple open ended questions like “How did you get into that?” or “Tell me more about that”, will keep the convo going.

If the roles become reversed and you are pouring your heart out while someone isn’t paying attention, ask “what do you think of that?” or  say “excuse me, I’ll be right back”.  

4. Limited your Alcohol consumption

Some of the best conversations happen over drinks. But KNOW YOUR LIMIT. Get a mingle drink. What is a mingle drink you ask? A drink that you sip socially to engage in conversation. You are not there for “free booze”. You are there working. Grab a mingle drink and make your rounds. Toasting is always a great way to break the ice with complete strangers.

Portray yourself in a respectful manner. You may be a party animal but remember at this event you are a professional first.

5. Rehearse 

If you were doing a presentation or acting in a play you would practice right? Networking is like any other skill. Of course there is a high possibility that you may suck the first time. But with practice comes perfection.

See what works. Learn from the CEO that just blew you off because you were boring. Watch what other people do and how they talk to people. Find your own groove and perfect it.

6. Have Fun

If you have fun, people will be drawn to you. That marketer telling the story about his bungee jumping experience in Hong Kong or that tech guy talking about his wild night in San Francisco after an SXSW event are so appealing to people because they are sharing stories. And everyone loves a good story.

If you are having fun you can relate to anyone.

Share this with a buddy and rock you next networking event.

It all stems from someone I didn’t know who stumbled across the movement online and reached out to me. He asked if I could come to Ghana and speak to the people  . I was honoured. Here is some of the footage fromt he event.

The movement now has supporters and friends in Ghana. It is  definitely growing.

Today, we all ventured out into the city centre visiting the markets and museums meeting people and really getting a true vibe of living in the city. We came across a school trip visiting a museum and stopped to introduce ourselves.

“What are your names?” I asked the students and they all confidently told me their names.

One of the little girls asked where I was from and what I was doing here… I told her my name is Robbie and I am here to get to know you. I pointed to my shirt and told them I Talk To Strangers

Thats so cool they are excitedly yelled and they all started rattling off questions…

“Why did you vote for Obama?”
“How is it in America?”
“What is your name?”

I tried my best to keep up with the barrage of questions but still maintained to smile at their excitement to be talking to a stranger.

I stopped them and told them they are all such beautiful people and I was happy to be talking to them…. They all proudly and humbly replied in unison THANK YOU!

This was one of the most gratifying experiences in my life. The beautiful faces and bright, smart, and attentive young minds of Ghana showing such appreciation for a simple conversation from me…. little do they know that the honor was really all mine.

Today, it really has hit what the ITTS Movement really is…. It proves how dialogue can really solve problems, bring people together, and create some of the most amazing experiences life has to offer.

I am in Ghana because A total stranger reached out to me and opened up his home. That one conversation turned into me bringing along a friend and and another total stranger for an experience to really prove the human quality of kindness. I didn’t want anything from any of them but to see first hand how the Movement works.

I met Keith W for the first time today on the runway of the Ghana airport. After smiles and hugs I then met Kristen Wheeler for the first time as well…. It was crazy how genuine a first hug can feel.

We sat over dinner and talked about our trip to Ghana and what we are to experience. We all listened to each other as we spoke about what this meeting meant for everyone and how the message being brought to Ghana only helps spread the feeling of peace and love and relationships that know no culture, color, or gender barrier.

I don’t want to spoil it but there is much in store. This was not just a trip for pleasure….it was a trip for purpose.

Through every new relationship formed……. The Movement is growing….

Today was a special day for me. Last week during my speech in Tallahassee,  freshman from Rickard’s High school approached me after I spoke and asked for my autograph. I was a little taken back but happy to fulfill the request. As I was signing, she asked me if I would be interested in coming to her high school to speak to the students. She was the freshman class VP and was looking for someone to help inspire the student leaders. It so happen that I was speaking again in Tallahassee and had the morning free so I gave her the “It would be my pleasure” response.

I walked into the school today to see a huge banner with “Welcome Mr. Robbie Stokes, Jr.” on it. I could tell that I was in a place that really appreciate my time and message.

Before I started, I asked the question, “Who came up and introduce themselves to me when you walked in!” Only 2 students raised their hand. I stressed the importance of leaving a impression. You never know who anyone is, who they know, or what they are capable of doing so you never want to leave blessings on the table. Sometimes your next greatest opportunity, lesson learned, or experience starts with a simple Hello, My Name is…. 

I spent my time with the students sharing my story and given them tips on how TALKING TO STRANGERS could helped them on campus. I stressed to the how being a student leader meant having the responsibility of getting to know the students on campus. Many times we seek leadership positions but forget that leadership is representing those you lead… leading them is directing them in a positive direction… and knowing where to lead them takes getting to know them.. hence talking to strangers and building relationships with your peers.

They listen attentively as I talked about how building relationships with teachers helps in the long run. You want to create a lasting impression with your teachers which helps you with letters of recommendations and support as you transition out of high school.

Lastly I told them to build relationship with one another. I asked as student leaders if they even knew each other. Unanimously they all answered no, but then I pointed out how could you expect get things done if you are not taken the time to get to know one another. I reminded them that many of the people you see now you will see in the future and most likely will need to work with somewhere in life and it is better to develop the relationship now instead of waiting until it is too late.

We ended our discussion where the students each came up to me to introduce themselves and I spent time talking and getting to know everyone.  I must say that this gave me a relapse into what it felt like to be in high school. The memories and experiences are those that really do last a lifetime. I can honestly say that most of my cherished memories included many friends who met while in high school. As all relationships start, these strangers were ones that I was happy I said hello to.

Thank you Zenani Johnson for inviting me to your school. I hope I left a little piece of my message with the great strangers I met today!

“The ultimate punishment is solitary confinement. Since we have the privilege of being around people we should make use them and talk to them”

The Movement is growing…

It has been a difficult week. I have been reading through submission from all over the world on how the I Talk To Strangers Movement is affecting people all over the world. I heard from people as far as Romania and Malaysia on how the ITTS Movement has inspired them to meet people from all walks of life….. I am looking forward to promoting this Movement in Ghana but even more excited to have someone else’s life change from four simple words….. with all of that said and done…. the winner is…….. Kristen Wheeler

Today, I woke up at 5:30AM to join WLTX’s morning talk show to promote my search to find one stranger anywhere in the world to join me on my trip to Africa. This was one of my first time’s to talk about my true motivation for the Movement and I was humbled to appear on live TV to continue my passion of bringing people together all over the world. After being invited to Ghana to speak and bring the Movement to Africa, I was inspired to let someone see first hand the extreme pleasure I have in meeting new from all around the world. During my trip I will be doing TV and radio interviews and spending time getting to know as many people as I can to inspire them meet someone new. Amazing things happen when amazing people come together.

I am still looking for that one person to join me on my all expense paid tour to Ghana. The search ends on January 20 at 8:00 a.m. You can catch my full interview here.